Internship Week 3 Reflection

I am glad that this week is over. Not in a bad way but there was just a lot.

Physically: I got my first really big project I spent a few days working on creating my first contract proposal. It was a lot more than I was expecting. I talked about this last week but I finally started working on it. I think I wrote a good proposal I am reviewing it with my higher up Monday morning. The worst part is I might not even be able to submit it. That is such an awful feeling. I worked hard on it but I don’t think we can put it through because of complications with the distributor. I did everything that I can do but still its upsetting.

Emotionally: This week was still a lot. I think I finally had time for all my emotions to really set in from what has recently happened. I lost my great aunt and one of my closest friends almost didn’t make it through covid. Two people close to me I lost and almost lost. It was hard emotionally. It really hit me this week. I felt it in many aspects of work/school/life. I did not really have a great week at work. I just kept doing things wrong and getting in trouble. I understand failure is part of the learning process, but it all just happened this week and complied onto the other emotions I was feeling. I am looking forward to the healing process but I am not rushing it as my emotions are valid and I deserve to feel the way I do.

Personally: I have been trying to find myself again I think? I am disappointed with myself for spending so much time on my phone. I think maybe I did it to help cope with the emotions? I am not sure. I really want to find hobbies again that are not video games. I haven’t gone for a bike ride in a while since I need to get my bike serviced but just am having a hard time thinking of how to transport my bike in my car. I want to do things again. I hope that once I am done with school that will be easier. I also need to get my eating and nutrition back on track as I have wanted to get back into the gym. I am just hesitant, I am bad about cooking and meal prepping. I think I need to hire someone to put together a meal plan for me. This could tie into my ADHD I want to try and get diagnosed for.

Closing Notes: I feel that I am treating these reflections more as a journal entry. I am ok with that also. I think it is a good place to help outlet the actions of the previous week. I think that this is something that is good for me to just get out what has happened in the last week. Not that I would keep it in but just type it all out. So, until next week…

-LB